Tantas Vezes- Many Times

Tantas Vezes

By clicking the link above you can hear my song in portuguese that is related to my testimony.
Translation of it says:
Many Times, i was wondering
without knowing where to go
Many Times i had no reason to go on
and no motive to live
But then i found and drew near to Jesus
and my life I gave to him

Christ, It was Jesus Christ
whom changed my life, transformed me
Christ, only in Christ
I found a solution and the strength for me to overcome.

Thanks
I hope you enjoy it.

3 Days of Spiritual Cleansing

What do you fear?

My Life Story - Final Part - The Decision

The Turnaround

One day I was smoking marijuana with Adriano and he asked me what are you doing? 

"You were in church, doing so well but now you are back here with us again, go back to the church, me and your brother we tried but we could not stay in church but you were doing so good, go back to church" .

I said you are smoking to much marijuana, it is to late, I already messed up I can’t go back.

That night I went to the club, there would be a big show from a well know DJs and Brazilian Funk, I always wanted to go before I started in church, when I arrived there I felt strange not like the first days I left the church, a girl come up to me and tried to kiss me but I just pushed her away, I sat down next to the loud speaker and began to sleep.

From the moment on I told myself I am going back to church and this time I will never leave I am not coming back to these places ever again.

So I did, I went back to church and gave my life 100% to God but I had to face up to the mistakes I had made.

One of the girls I went out with  was now dating another guy and still had gone out with me again during the Carnival, this guy was my friend and when he found out she had gone out with me he said, he was going to take his cousin’s gun and kill me.

I come back from the church and he was waiting for me I did not know what was going to happen, suddenly he asked:

Did you go out with my girl?

I said yes.

He said: Never mind she is not worth it, and walked away.

God had delivered me, now I had to face my girlfriend, I told her that I had messed up and for my surprised she confessed she had gone out with Adriano behind my back, as I was spending to much time in church and she was alone.  It come as a shock to me but I did not break up with her, I was drinking from my own medicine.

As I got stronger in my relationship with God I got puzzled by this message  “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39

I remember as if it was today I went home and I made one of the most important decision in my life, to finish my relationship with M, I was ready to lose my life, for God to give me a new one, I was not afraid of her emotional blackmail as she used to say she might kill herself if I left her, I had to move on and she was holding me back in my relationship with God.

I meet her outside her house and told her I was breaking up, she kissed me but I did not kiss back, she said it is just a phase, we will get back together but from that day on my life truly moved forward.

Well to cut it short as I am not writing a book, I could though, I went to live in the church as my grandmother was not in the house anymore she was now living with my untie and it was only me, my cousin, my brother was never really there and an older uncle.

I got stronger and stronger in my relationship with God, become an assistant in the church working with youths, M still came to church once but I was no longer deceived by my feelings.

I was not interested in relationships anymore I just wanted to serve God.

One assistant told me about a girl that was an assistant and was working in my town but I said no, not interested, it happened that after a year as assistant I was called to serve God on the Altar as an assistant pastor and when I went to my first church in another city I saw the same assistant there and I thought this girl will end up liking me and so it was.

I was send to England but I was already dating her, after sometime she come to England also. 

Adriano who was my best friend back then had been involved with some bad things and was shoot from behind and died and when I went to get married in Brazil after almost two years in England I meet my brother, he had his first child I believe around 12 or 13 and now another girl was pregnant, I spoke seriously with him about his behaviour and other things.

The next day he disappeared, we were thinking he will comeback but it had been over 24 hours and my mother was getting worried, I was sorting out the weeding in another city and received a phone call saying they found my brother floating in the nearby river, my mother said it seems like there was a hole in his head but they could not make the autopsy as the body was already decomposing.

Just like dad my brother left a girl excepting a child, it is too much coincidence but I believe if it wasn’t for my relationship with God  I should have been dead too.

The End.

My Brother Jeferson Pinheiro.

Lucas My Brother's Son he never meet

Conclusion: My Grandmother accepted Jesus and was baptised before she passed away in 2011 and I never shed a tear for I was sure she is with God.

It has been over 10 years that I have been married with Cris and we have been very happy, I love her very much and I no longer need girls, parties, drinking etc… to make me happy, I found happiness in my relationship with God.

Family Reunion in the church after 8 years.

No matter how bad your life is you can be turn it around too, why not start right now by asking God to come into your life and make a decision to do what you need to your life will never be the same.

Thanks for you time

God Bless you. 

My Story Part 6 - The mistake

My Story - Part 6 

As I was drinking, my girlfriend was told by her mother that I was not well, she decided to come and check on me but still I was very unhappy.

My mother come to visit us and she found my diary, she said to me: I didn't know that you were going through this and invited me to come to a meeting in her church.

I remember that I went together with my brother and my friend Adriano as well, they were so shocked and surprised as they manifested a negative spirit that was working in their life’s, I was crying and felt like the emptiness  and sadness left me on that very first day.

After the meeting Adriano and my brother decided to get baptised, so they asked me to do the same but I said:  I don’t know if I should, this is very serious, but in the end I decided to do it.

After the baptism they began to say let us see who will do something wrong first, who will flirt with girls or use a swearing word, I said why did you baptise if you are not serious.

I continued attending the UCKG meetings and was introduced to the Youth Group I was doing so well and getting better, I was no longer sad, going to party’s but I was still with my girlfriend and she used to blackmail me saying if I would not go clubbing with her she would find someone else to take her.

Attending the meetings were really helping me, I understood that God was not the one punishing me but the devil was the one who come to destroy my life, the youth meetings were very helpful and fun as they used to sing positive songs, I could have fun without the drink and fights.

I took my girlfriend to the meeting but she did not like it and stopped coming, every night instead of going to date her I was going to church and she was not liking it, Adriano began to spend a lot of time with her as I was not there.

The Mistake:

One day as I was coming back from the meeting feeling so strong, instead of going home I decided to hang around in the neighbourhood with the guys so they would not think that now I was a church boy, my brother was flirting with a girl but she said she would not date him if I would not date her friend, I said no, I am not going to do it, but the girl was the kind of girl I used to like before and my brother was insisting so much I decided to do it, as soon as I said yes, the girl had to leave and nothing happened but I realised what I was about to do.

I went home and prayed so hard for God's forgiveness and felt like something happened on that day.

Back in the church we were warned about the Carnival as it was fast approaching, I thought I will not fall I am strong.

Then the same situation happened again, Adriano asked me to take some bikes to the club with him, I was reluctant at first but then I decided to help him.

When I arrived in the club instead of leaving the bike there and come back I stayed, big mistake, I was dressed up for church so I felt so awkward there, so I put back the earring I used to wear, I went back to use Loló (Illegal substance) and as my girlfriend had gone on holiday to the capital for the Carnival I found myself another girl, and another one the next day.

I did things I had never done before, I use to say to the guys that I would never do drugs because I was too smart for that and if ever I did it I would be the one selling to them but I was so upset for leaving the church that I thought there was no way back and I began to smoke cannabis.

To be concluded in the next post don't miss the final part.
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The Human Brain - Must See

My Story Part 5 - Party, girls and ?

Part 5 – Party, girls and another death.

Adriano and I meet up in the square after managing to escape from the police and the rival gang but my brother was no where to be found, only later we managed to find him, somehow we managed to come out of the situation unharmed but that did not stop me from continuing hanging around with the guys in the gang.

As my behaviour was deteriorating me and M (my girlfriend) were constantly arguing and breaking up, I lost count of how many times we broke up and got back together, even her mother was not taking it seriously any more whenever she would say that we had split up again.

This particular day we had split up and to take revenge on her, I started to date another girl, she come to my house and my ex could see us from her house, I believe that might have been very hurtful.

I went to the club that night and there I meet another girl who fell in love with me although I had two girlfriends already, after the club as I was walking back to the house with the guys, I believe it was on a Sunday, some friends were hanging about and they told me: “Your uncle was hit by a truck in his motorbike and it smashed his head”.

In the moment for the first time ever I could not hold myself and I broke down and began to cry, all kinds of thoughts went through my head, first my father and now in one year after my uncle, I lost my ground, I began to think my future is lost, how am I going to make it in life, University, what is going to happen now?

I remembered my Grandmother and run home to see what was happening, she somehow could always sense when someone had died as people would begin to surround her and tell her to be strong etc…

My other uncle gave her some medication and they broke the news to her, it was devastating, two son’s died in less than a year, I don’t know how my grandmother managed but she was a very strong women to go through all she had been through.

As M (ex girlfriend), heard about it she came up to my house and began to comfort me, so we got back together.

I grew up as a Catholic, I was brought up to believe that our suffering was a way that God found to punish us, M (ex-girlfriend) and I used to attend the same church, she used to make comments about the trainee priest how good looking he was and that would upset me so much, every thing was just going so wrong for me, I become depressed and began to ask God every night why was He punishing me, what sin had I committed that He was punishing me by taking my father, uncle, girlfriend, mother and every one that I loved?  

One night I wrote in my diary hoping I would not wake up the next day: “If you find my diary, is because I have not woken up and you will know the reality of my life, how I have suffered”. I was hoping every night that I would die during my sleep.

Some months after the accident was my birthday, my father had died at the same or one month apart from my uncle’s death and it was supposed to be my father’s birthday one day before mine.

I used to wait until midnight always whenever it was my birthday to celebrate it but this day I did not have anything to celebrate, I bought myself a cradle of beer with 24 bottles and began to drink one after the other at my yard while listening to music…

To be continued…

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