Part 5 – Party, girls and another death.
Adriano and I meet up in the square after
managing to escape from the police and the rival gang but my brother was no
where to be found, only later we managed to find him, somehow we managed to
come out of the situation unharmed but that did not stop me from continuing
hanging around with the guys in the gang.
As my behaviour was deteriorating me and M (my
girlfriend) were constantly arguing and breaking up, I lost count of how many
times we broke up and got back together, even her mother was not taking it
seriously any more whenever she would say that we had split up again.
This particular day we had split up and to take
revenge on her, I started to date another girl, she come to my house and my
ex could see us from her house, I believe that might have been very hurtful.
I went to the club that night and there I meet
another girl who fell in love with me although I had two girlfriends already,
after the club as I was walking back to the house with the guys, I believe it
was on a Sunday, some friends were hanging about and they told
me: “Your uncle was hit by a truck in his motorbike and it smashed his head”.
In the moment for the first time ever I could
not hold myself and I broke down and began to cry, all kinds of thoughts went
through my head, first my father and now in one year after my uncle, I lost my
ground, I began to think my future is lost, how am I going to make it in life, University, what is going to happen now?
I remembered my Grandmother and run home to see
what was happening, she somehow could always sense when someone had died as
people would begin to surround her and tell her to be strong etc…
My other uncle gave her some medication and
they broke the news to her, it was devastating, two son’s died in less than a
year, I don’t know how my grandmother managed but she was a very strong women
to go through all she had been through.
As M (ex girlfriend), heard about it she came
up to my house and began to comfort me, so we got back together.
I grew up as a Catholic, I was brought up to
believe that our suffering was a way that God found to punish us, M
(ex-girlfriend) and I used to attend the same church, she used to make comments
about the trainee priest how good looking he was and that would upset me so
much, every thing was just going so wrong for me, I become depressed and began
to ask God every night why was He punishing me, what sin had I committed that He was punishing me by taking my father, uncle, girlfriend, mother and every
one that I loved?
One night I wrote in my diary hoping I would
not wake up the next day: “If you find my diary, is because I have not woken up
and you will know the reality of my life, how I have suffered”. I was hoping
every night that I would die during my sleep.
Some months after the accident was my birthday,
my father had died at the same or one month apart from my uncle’s death and it
was supposed to be my father’s birthday one day before mine.
I used to wait until midnight always whenever
it was my birthday to celebrate it but this day I did not have anything to
celebrate, I bought myself a cradle of beer with 24 bottles and began to drink
one after the other at my yard while listening to music…
To be continued…
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